untitled.

the levees broke my heart's walls
revealing gnarled re-bar
veins pulsing up to the sky --
they are now rusty, sharp nails
which drag the clouds above, tearing
rifts of black soot and brown grime.

a lone life on its own bright island,
one finds lime green sprouting on a tree;
thereupon lies the moss of decaying ages.
each branches tumble into my rising Desire
finding release from splintered seasons of the past.

the winter is come for my heart once again,
yet the flood waters remain a frozen lake

3 Questions

beliefnet.com's horoscopes once held me in a grip of affirmation,
but upon returning from New Orleans, I felt like they were trying
too hard to whitewash my astral self with a little Paternal advice.

so I switched to Rob Breszny. this week I was presented with a
challenge that left my Aries stumped:

So your next assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to
craft three essential questions that will guide your journey between now
and the end of 2007. These queries should excite your natural curiosity
about the life issues that matter most to you. They should be carefully
and precisely formulated. And they should motivate you to keep your
mind wide open and hungry as you hunt for more insight into your most
bafflingly interesting mysteries.

how to even approach this ??? I was baffled as I already said, be-
cause a) I hadn't been questioning my intentions since New Orleans,
b) I had spent most of my time questioning the intentions of others,
c) I couldn't cheat on these with some trifle-ass questions.

here's what I got, though:

1. Where is my home?

2. Why am I not writing a diary?

3. Whom do I serve?

you know, I only have the beginnings of an answer for number two, a
sketchy idea of whom I *used to* serve, and as for number one? ...

Free

my Heart, no longer cold.

people come and go from blog to blog, a mention here,
a shout out (this one goes out to my SIStAz sort of deal)

...but when I get a cameo role in someone's blog, when
someone takes the time to craft words around me? that's
pretty damned special... the warmest bits of my center
around my 4th chakra -- I am alive and well and living
in this moment.

I wish I could quote you, Ethan,
but I couldn't bear to paraphrase any of you.
there is a fire in my chest around which
I must share stories and utter them unto You.

Melting after the Ice Age,

Free

from New Orleans, with Love.

according to this computer, it's February 5th. my last post was on the 9th of May,
so I think I am doing pretty well in terms of keeping up with my blog. heck, I'm so
good, I am writing in the past as well as the present. are you keeping up, huh???

here's what I have today, a poem. one of the first I am sharing about my exp. in NO.

-----

the boys are bouncing off the bar and in-
to the warm receptive laps of their clientele.
they are fishing for pocket change to play
pool and shark the richer customers
with smiles and conversation.

This is the corner pocket, where
balls of all colors come to reside.

somewhere
beneath the smoky din
(they paid for that cliché,
god-damn-it) there is a Speaker,
once willing, now silent & pondering.

the world has crumbled before Him
yet the glassy eyes of boys on barstools
keep Him company. He loves them
and they feel it. together they share their hearts--
or the beating remains of former love.

the Flood washed so much away... and left so much Shit.
hearts beat poisons & broken seashells through the estuaries of their souls.

His fingers palm a greasy dollar, then maneuver to a crisp fiver.
He wants to feel alive tonight, if only in the comfort of a dream
that This boy will not go hungry on His watch.

---

Free

just for Kix

thank you, Ceri -- your post gave me a good reason to blog
and I don't have to bleed open my heart in this one too much!

Picture Survey

Here are the rules: Put the answer to the question in Google Images,
and use the FIRST image that comes up. (Free = Cheated on this)

The city and state of the city you were born in, no quotation marks:

Tulsa, Oklahoma (yeah that's aboot right)

The city and state you grew up in, or that you consider home:

Broken Arrow, Oklahoma (in the bruthafuckin' hizzouse!!!1one)

The city and state you currently reside in, no quotes:

Norman, Oklahoma (I couldn't resist picking this one of two cute boys!!!
I think I need to go take a break in the back room now...SERIOUSLY)

First and last name, no quotes:

Free Now (okay, back from the back room and this image is AMAZING)

Your grandmother's name:

Roberta (pretty close in appearance, actually)

Your favorite food:

My Grandpa's Pizza made by my Mother (fuck yeah, Yoko rox!)

Your preferred drink:

Kombucha (YUM!)

Your favorite smell:

Men (yeah there was a lot of porn for this one... I opted for the artistic route)

A favorite song:

Take My Breath Away (I love comics... and this one was made on my birthday 2yrs ago...)

a[n un]Clear Communication

a summed up life up in two sentences:

I work at an emotionally challenging local business
so that I may sustain my community life in Norman.
I am content to spend my days sifting through the
F8s' tapestries while guiding my string in the weave.

while both of these sentences are clear to me, it has
come to my attention that my blog style may alien8
others. sometimes I want to be direct when I write
online... largely, I allow the paranoia of Security Cul-
ture to dictate what is appropriate for me to say.

I haven't taken the time to write out my emotions in
a private, handwritten journal in some time... so much
of my writing is open to those who ask and I encou-
rage others around me to sample selections of it.

a blog on blog sort of blog, eh? that's what this one is.

I think I might start over.

Free

<-------first draft blog attempt--------->

I work at Van's Pig Stand.

I live at Casa de la Corazon.

I explore ideas.

these are a few of my favorite things at the moment.

right now as I am typing this, our ceiling is falling apart
yet beneath the rain damaged roof we are growing in-
door plants. all the windows open up the outside world;
a moth eyes reflect the orange glow of the office light.

it's flying everywhere.

I am well. and
I am hesitant to complain about my life online.

a Love Story for Belta(i)n(e)

just like, ya, whatever, it's bloggin' time.
been readin' a fair bit o neil gaiman's blog,
you know I eat those celebblogs a lot...
I also recommend Moby's blog... a lil too
politcally progressive for my tastes....

http://www.neilgaiman.com/journal/
http://www.moby.com/journal

so for Beltain Eve, a band of deeliteful
queers came up from the city of NOLA!
Mira & Devon, Julia et Maxine all joined
in the revue -- I got a sweet load of
dumpstered goodies, a book on queer
theatre, and a set of fabulous shots that
I will post as soon as I can get my
flea-blessed mittens on them.

happy Beltaine everyone! this year,
my intention is to honor all relationships
with open and healthy communication --
I am letting go of honesty and being
forthright with all of my emotions. a
challenge, but a worthwhile investment
for my future! nonviolent communication,
H E R E I C O M E ! ! ! ! ! 1 o n e

I am envious of the Fae folx that are
blessing and consecrating spaces in SMS, TN,
tho I can feel their fingers wurking thur
majix inside of my skull, oh goddess,
bless you, those who have heard my
r e q u e s t .

may all your smiles curl as you need them.

Free